Negative Thoughts|Part 1:God is Mad at Me

 

Today, I have decided to do a series on negative thoughts. For a while, I have struggled with negative thoughts about myself. Whether it was a thought of low self-esteem, discouragement, doubt and more, I’ve learned to bring those negative thoughts subject to the word of God.

 

Which means, anytime a negative thought would pop into my head I would throw a scripture at that thought and soon after, the thought would flee. Ok, so….here goes.

I’m not perfect and I never will be. 

(Whew it feels good to say that)

Sometimes I put A LOT of pressure on myself, because I  desire to please God. Sometimes I hold myself to an impossibly high standard. 

Sometimes I’m like:

“I’m saved. I’m never doing this. I’m never doing that. I’m never watching this. I’m never watching that. Because Jesus is watching me.”

True.

Jesus is watching me. But, He knows that I’m not perfect.Though, that doesn’t mean that I should just willingly give into temptation.Sometimes I fall off of that high pedestal that I set-up for myself. And when I would fall, I would fall HARD!

 I’d get so upset with myself that I wasn’t a ‘Perfect Christian’ (which I don’t believe exists), that I would give the enemy room to come into my mind and plant all sorts of negative thoughts. One of the biggest would be, 

“I’ve messed up. GOD IS MAD AT ME.”

Those thoughts would then lead to all kinds of unhealthy emotions and even depression. I would try to ‘hide’ from God. I would say short prayers, and then try to ignore his presence. I’ve learned that no matter what, I must run to God, not run away from Him. Even if I may think that He is mad at me.

 Though, I am a believer sometimes I may stumble in my walk with Christ. Maybe it could be in the form of something that I said, did or didn’t do. Maybe it could be a thought, or even an attitude. Although I would repent, and ask for forgiveness, a negative thought would pop into my mind. 

“God is mad at you/disappointed in you. He’s looking down at you shaking His head because you know better. You are never going to be blessed just because you did/said/thought this or that.”

This is just an example of one of the thoughts that I would be attacked with. There were lots more. But, with this particular type of thought, I would quote a scripture to that thought.

Jeremiah 29:11 (KJV) For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.

Ahhh…didn’t that just comfort your soul? 

Imagine: You’re trekking in the mountains. It’s snowing hard. It’s below zero degrees outside. The icy wind is nipping at your cheeks. You’re freezing. You don’t know where to go. Until you see a log cabin ahead of you. You step into the warm log cabin, heated by a crackling fireplace. The warmth surrounds and comforts you. Then, you sit down wrap a warm, comfy blanket around you as you enjoy a nice hot cup of Hot Cocoa or tea. Warm and cozy, you look out the window and appreciate the view of the snowy white mountaintops in the distance. Then, you realize “I’m gonna be okay.”

Are you there yet?

That’s how that scripture above makes me feel. It’s such a comfort to my soul.

In God’s word he actually said that He thinks PEACEFUL thoughts about me, not EVIL. This fact alone would make that negative thought that ‘God is mad’ or ‘disappointed in me’ a LIE. 

God is not mad at me.

Jesus died for my sins. I am a believer in Him. I am under His grace. Because I am under His grace doesn’t mean that I can run around doing all kinds of ungodly things willingly. To me, it means that if/when I stumble, I can repent ask for forgiveness and try my best to turn away from whatever the sin may have been. 

I am still a work in progress. I am still growing in Christ, learning more about Him and myself. He loves me and wants the best for me. I’m learning how to let the Holy Ghost convict me instead of allowing the enemy to condemn me.

Thank you, for who you are, all that you’ve done and all that you will do.

Thank you for giving me the courage to write this blog, it has been freeing me.

Thank you, Holy Ghost for teaching me. I am enjoying getting closer to you Lord. I thank you for your Holy Word. It has everything that I need in it. It helps me to fight off the negative thoughts that the enemy tries to beat me down with. Glory to your name Jesus, you are the King of all Kings. You are the Lord of all Lords.